


you're a star painted with a left hand

by sanj_sanj



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fluff, Adrinette | Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mentioned Gabriel Agreste, POV Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Post-Hawk Moth Defeat, Post-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, adrien's emotions, landscape painting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29389815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanj_sanj/pseuds/sanj_sanj
Summary: It has long since been years since that final battle, yet Adrien can still find himself sometimes slipping away into delirium, into a constant struggle between reality and the past.It’s simple slipping back into old habits when his past seemed to follow him around the corner like a dark midnight shadow, long and foreboding. Sometimes he feels like a shadow of himself, smile ripped away and eyes filled with tears. He rarely feels like his old model self, either always surrounded by desperate fans or smiling for camera after camera. Those days, even when his smile is a little tight around the edges, he has at least still felt like smiling.These days, smiling for a camera just reminds him of his father.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	you're a star painted with a left hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laadychat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laadychat/gifts).



> for sabs!! i was your secret santa!! i'm sorry this is incredibly late haha but i hope you enjoy <33

It has long since been years since that final battle, yet Adrien can still find himself sometimes slipping away into delirium, into a constant struggle between reality and the past.

It’s simple slipping back into old habits when his past seemed to follow him around the corner like a dark midnight shadow, long and foreboding. Sometimes he feels like a shadow of himself, smile ripped away and eyes filled with tears. He rarely feels like his old model self, either always surrounded by desperate fans or smiling for camera after camera. Those days, even when his smile is a little tight around the edges, he has at least still  _ felt  _ like smiling.

These days, smiling for a camera just reminds him of his father.

***

It isn’t like anyone asks him for autographs these days anyways. The hordes of screaming fans and paparazzi have long since dissipated, leaving behind a uncanny sense of solitude. It doesn’t really make sense to Adrien. He’s always hated having strangers follow him around everywhere, while he was expected to act like everyone’s best friend. Yet he still finds himself missing the days when people would swarm around him.

It’s certainly nothing like his life now. Adrien notices how everyone seems to scatter off the streets when he walks by. He always does. And it feels like a sharp punch in the gut every time.

Adrien has always hated being alone. The days after that battle and after his father’s bad deeds had been offered up to the world for them to gawk at have been the loneliest of his life. 

Well, besides Marinette. Marinette is the only one who’s stayed.

***

It still surprises him why she’s stayed with him this long. She’s stayed with him even before she knew the whole story; she’s just kind like that. She doesn’t care what his father did, and she knows him better than he knows himself. She stays. That’s all that matters to him.

Adrien walks quietly to the apartment he shares with Marinette, just a mere mile away from where his father used to be, in that mansion filled to the brim with despair and a lack of love. The mansion which had been his home for so many years without ever really feeling like home _.  _

He stands alone on the cracked concrete and looks up at the empty, seemingly deserted apartment building with a broken window two stories above him and white paint peeling off the walls like stickers that would no longer stick. He smiles as he walks in, because Marinette is inside waiting for him and because he is finally  _ home _ .

Inside their apartment, Marinette sits with a cup of coffee in one hand, sketching away with the other. There’s a smile resting upon her face as she draws, the afternoon sunlight lighting up her face. Adrien can smell her coffee from across the room and he takes a deep breath, soaking in the energy of the room. 

Even after all this time, it still feels unnatural sometimes, walking the streets and feeling trapped in a sea of strangers, not one of which spare him a second glance. It used to be comforting to him, to be constantly surrounded with all kinds of people. He would pick out all the different faces and imagine what their lives were like, imagine he knew where they were heading to.

It made him feel less lonely, knowing he was just like them, just another soul hurrying off somewhere with a story of his own. 

And then for so long, he dreaded walking the pavement without a friend or Marinette by his side for fear of running into someone who would just accuse him of more crimes that would never be true. The people on the roads seemed more like ghosts of his past, set on haunting him with the memories he had tried so hard to forget.

It had taken him a while not to fall back into those habits and see the world for what it was, not a reflection of his past. Adrien thinks it made him a better person in the long run, a sort of healing process. He had to learn on his own how to brush off others’ opinions and ignore things when they got too rough. What really matters is that he knows the truth, Marinette knows the truth, and his friends know the truth. There’s no one else who really matters to him anyways, not anymore.

Adrien quite likes it this way, if he were being honest. He knows it would be a simple trip; driving up one sunny afternoon to his father’s prison cell, devoid of all the light and joy he saw outside, and saying hello. Reconnecting with Gabriel and possibly forming a better relationship with him, one that wasn’t rooted in grief and frustration. But that isn’t what what he wants. 

It had taken him just as long to feel normal again as it had taken him to realize that he didn’t want anything to do with Gabriel anymore. Everything that his father - Hawkmoth - had ever done and everyone he had ever hurt had all been because of his own selfish, guilt-filled grief. Terrorizing Paris for so many years and keeping his own son cooped up at home in the hopes of one day using him as a pawn to defeat the heroes of the city were just terrible, terrible things. The worst part was that even after all these long years alone in prison, his father never once even stopped to think about what he had done wrong. Adrien has never visited him; he simply asks Marinette to stop by once every few months. Just to check in, to see if he’s doing okay. 

Because if anything, Adrien is kind and expects the best from people, which is why he has forgiven his father. Gabriel may not have apologized, or even wanted to take full responsibility for his actions, but he is still Adrien’s father. His father who was part of many of his happy memories with his mother. Adrien is the only one who could have possibly felt the same grief as his father, and he understands. He understands how awful it felt, how grief used to tug at his soul every morning until he barely felt like starting the day. What he doesn’t understand is using that grief as strength and energy to become a malevolent supervillain. 

Still, he has forgiven his father, and his heart feels all the lighter because of it.

As he realizes it’s been minutes since he’s come inside and stood deep in thought, Adrien takes a deep breath to clear his mind and startles his girlfriend, who still seems to be tapping away at her tablet. Marinette lights up at the sight of him, rushing over to wrap her arms around his waist.

“How was it at Nino and Alya’s house?” She asks daintily, her voice reminding him of bells tinkling in the wind. “I hope they’re doing well. I wish I could have come with you, but you know me when I’m sketching - it’s impossible to take breaks!” Marinette walks back to her tablet and begins sketching, a lock of dark hair falling across her face softly.

For a second, Adrien just stares at Marinette and thinks of how beautiful she is. He wants to reach over and tuck the lock of hair behind her ear just to watch a blush spread across her cheeks like scarlet roses blooming in the summer.

“Lost in thought again?” Marinette giggles, before turning her smile into a gentle frown. “Did you run into anyone outside?”

It still amazes him how Marinette never fails to notice when he’s overthinking, or how she still asks if he’s okay every time he ends up walking on Paris’s streets.

“No, I’m okay. Just thinking, that’s all. And Alya and Nino were wonderful, they really missed you.” He replies, letting his lips turn up in a smile.

“Of course they did. Well, this drawing was important, so I hope they’ll understand.”

“Is it another commission from Jagged Stone?” He walks over to the couch and settles himself on it, patting the space next to him for Marinette to sit.

She grabs her tablet and sits next to him, resting her head on his shoulder as his arm comes to wrap around her waist. “No, actually, even though I do have something in the works for him. This is for you, Adrien.”

It still surprises him when Marinette says she has a drawing for him. It’s still somewhat hard to believe someone would want to do something just for him, especially something so full of passion and love. But he knows Marinette, and he knows she does everything with love, and she loves him. She loves him despite his past, despite everything that has happened to him. Adrien thinks she’s one of the first people to ever love him.

He still remembers those first weeks after he and Ladybug had exposed Hawkmoth to the world and thrown him in a prison cell to mull over what he had done. The questioning Adrien had to endure, his only escape being his nightly runs with his lady. Marinette had been there from the start, her parents offering anything and everything to help him. Those first weeks, he lived at her house in their spare room; too unstable, too scared to live in that cold, empty mansion for much longer. He had felt alone, mostly, despite all the love he was getting from his friends. And Marinette was always there.

Even Ladybug had noticed something was up, even if she didn’t know. He could tell from the gentle tone of her voice, the casual touches and hugs. It meant more than she would ever know.

The reveal had happened not long after that. It was both how he had always imagined it, and also completely not. They had both mutually decided that there was nothing to worry about, and nothing to hide from each other. Adrien would have been worried, or even nervous of what Ladybug thought of him, if he wasn’t so preoccupied with the whole Hawkmoth business. Adrien hadn’t been surprised to see that Ladybug was Marinette, and she hadn’t been surprised to see it was him. In fact, it made a whole lot of sense to the both of them. The puzzle pieces had all finally fallen back into place, and it gave Adrien a slight sense of relief while he was dealing with everything. 

Marinette waited a year before asking him out, despite the fact that the both of them had been unknowingly in love with each other for the past few years. She knew he needed time to process things and even start to rebuild some of his relationships that had shattered. It only made him fall even deeper in love with her. Even after they started dating, nothing really changed. They were still as close as ever, and Marinette was still by his side, for everything. 

He’s really the luckiest person in the world to have someone like her in his life. 

“Adrien?” The girl in question prompts softly, her eyes full of concern.

“Oh, sorry. I was just, you know-”

“You deserve this.” She says firmly, pushing the tablet into his hands.

He snatches the tablet and finds himself lost for words as he stares at the drawing in front of him. In it, he and Marinette are sitting with their arms wrapped around each other by a tree in their favorite park. From the tree spills lovely cherry blossoms and the grass around them is tall and wavy. Despite how beautifully Marinette has drawn them, they don’t seem to be the centerpiece of the sketch. Instead, he is drawn to the people walking about in the background and the little creatures hidden among the grass. There are bunnies and squirrels near them, and pretty birds on the tree branches. Petals of the cherry blossoms fall through the cloudless sky, under which passers-by smile and talk to each other. There’s a little girl holding hands with another little boy, two girls hugging each other, and others just walking or staring at the scenery. All in all, it’s absolutely stunning and Adrien can’t believe how talented Marinette is.

“Take a look! It’s not finished yet, but I think this might be my favorite one yet.” Marinette chirps.

“And why’s that?”

“Well, we’re in this one.” She wraps her hand around his wrist and smiles. Who wouldn’t fall in love with a smile like that? “I know I make these for you a lot, but I stopped by at our park today and saw this beautiful scene in front of me. Of course, I added in the people and the creatures, but the tree? The tree is real, and so beautiful. That place just reminded me of you, and I wanted to capture its beauty for you. I know you’ve been doing better about that lately, but I thought maybe you needed a reminder.”

It’s amazing how well Marinette knows him. She just seems to know when he’s slipping a little, and is always there to pick him right back up. And the sketches… well, that’s one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for him.

Every few months, Marinette puts aside her commissions and sketches of her fashion to draw him something. A sketch that showcases the beauty of the world, and reminds him that the people around him aren’t just a reflection of his past. He had found it so hard to step outside and not be assaulted with painful memories, before she had started making these for him. The drawings were always peaceful, and always had at least a couple of people in them. They were all different and unique, and everyone of them had a smile on their face. In some sketches, it was snowing heavily or even raining; and under their umbrellas, everyone looked… happy. Marinette tried her best to make either beautiful or miserable images combined with people who looked like they were in paradise wherever they were. With each drawing was a story, one that always helped him appreciate the little things and get back into his fond habits of people-watching. 

This one is also his favorite so far. Because not only does it have a beautiful, almost idyllic background, it also features him and his lovely girlfriend, sitting and appreciating the world around them. She must have been drawing it to signify just how far the two of them had come, together. The sight of it makes him feel like he’s floating on a cloud, high above the ground and his insecurities.

Adrien kisses Marinette softly, feeling himself smile as she sighs against his lips. He pulls away only to embrace her tightly, feeling his eyes watering.

“You know I love you, right? I love you more than anything. Thank you.”

“I love you more, you know. I was thinking we head out to that park later? So I can start coloring. And so we can recreate the painting.” Adrien can feel her smile against his back.

“Of course we can.”

***

Marinette hums contentedly as she shades her drawing, Adrien lying across her lap. The wind brushes her hair across her face and she watches petals of baby pink cherry blossoms flit through the air.

“Wow, Marinette, that looks beautiful. You’ve already painted so much and we’ve barely been here an hour.”

“What can I say, I was inspired. It must be this place. Or maybe it was you.” She presses a kiss to his forehead, giggling.

“This place really is beautiful.” Adrien breathes.

“It’s purrfect, isn’t it?” He doesn’t even have to look at her to know she’s smirking at him.

“Of course you would be the one making puns on a day like this.” Adrien says, pretending to be exasperated.

“I have to have gained  _ something  _ from being Chat Noir’s girlfriend for years now.” 

“I thought Ladybug couldn’t stand his puns? Thought they were pawsitively claw-ful?”

“Who knows, maybe she thought they were secretly hiss-sterical. What’s a superhero duo without their fair share of puns anyways?”

The two of them stare at each other, bursting out into laughter. Adrien feels his heart swell with joy and sighs peacefully up at the sky, closing his eyes as he calms down.

“How are you feeling?” Her voice is softer now, and it feels like a cotton blanket laid over him. 

“I don’t really know, honestly. Something about this place is just… really peaceful. Everything just feels nice, you know? Like something has been weighing me down for a while, and now I just feel free. I’m not sure why, even on the way here I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened.”

“Adrien, you know there’s nothing wrong with that. You can’t forget your past. It’s a part of you, and it makes you  _ you _ . It makes you the person I’ve been in love with for years. I just think you finally learned how to move past the bad parts of your past. You still remember everything, but you don’t see sadness wherever you go anymore. You’ve learned to appreciate the  _ beauty _ , while still knowing that sometimes things can go wrong, and that’s okay. It’s okay if you have bad days and it’s okay if sometimes you feel like you can’t handle things. I think you understand now that bad days… are just bad days. They’re not bad weeks or bad years. They’re temporary and you will get through them. Maybe today was a bit of a bad day. But you’re here now, and you’re laughing and you’re smiling, and you just look so  _ happy.  _ Do you know how happy it makes me to see you like that? I just think you’ve grown so much and I’m really proud of that. Adrien, I’m really proud of  _ you _ .” Marinette clasps his hands gently, rubbing her thumbs up and down his wrists. 

She looks happy, a smile painted across her features and her eyes sparkling in the sunlight. The picture of her sitting there across the grass beaming at him is something he’s always dreamed of. And the words that spill out of her lips are something he’d never thought he’d hear. Especially after these past few years. And they’re spoken so sincerely that Adrien can feel himself tearing up, tears dripping down his cheeks.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. That was just beautiful. I, um, thank you. For everything, Marinette. I mean it. You’re my favorite, you know.”

“You’re my favorite too.” She says, wiping away his tears with the tip of her thumb. “Now, come look at my drawing! I think I’m finished.”

Adrien looks, and he keeps looking. He doesn’t think he’s seen anything as beautiful as this. Marinette’s sketch is full of life and color, almost bursting at the seams with emotions and delicacy. She’s added so many little details, so many different colors that Adrien doesn’t know where she found the time. They’ve only been here an hour after all. The cherry blossoms burst bright pink against the baby blue sky and the light green grass stares up at the creatures and people standing around in it. 

“I don’t know what to say, Marinette. It’s stunning and it’s my favorite thing you’ve ever drawn. Hands down.”

“Oh, stop. Maybe it’s because I drew it with you in mind.” Marinette smiles down at him, and he sits up to push her down on the grass into a tight hug.

“Was that a slightly smooth way to tell me you think I’m cute?” Adrien says, his breath tickling her eyelashes. Her eyes flutter shut.

“Well, would I be dating you if I didn’t think you were cute?”

“Yes, you would. Because you love me. You looooooove me so much.”

“Not if you keep mocking me, I don’t.” Marinette opens her eyes and pretends to look angry, her lips turning down in a frown. Her eyes still sparkle with joy.

“Okay, well, in all honesty, I couldn’t have done any of this without you. If you hadn’t been there for me since the beginning, I’d probably still be moping about living in that mansion with absolutely nobody else around. So, I know I’ve said this a lot, but thank you. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for not giving up on me.” His unspoken plea hangs in the air like an eagle waiting to strike upon its prey:  _ Please don’t ever give up on me. _

“Adrien…” She doesn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she looks up at him, her eyes so full of love it threatens to bring tears to his eyes again. 

Adrien can’t help it. He presses his lips to hers and feels his spirits lift. The world disappears around them and all he can see is Marinette and the darkening blush on her cheeks. Marinette’s cherry red lips are soft against his, and he smiles deeply, happily. Adrien thinks of his life and his past and everything that has happened, and for the first time he smiles. He looks his painful memories right in the eye, and for the first time he thinks everything will be okay. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be okay. They’ll be okay. 

As they pull away, Marinette tangles a hand in his hair and buries her head in his chest, wrapping an arm around his neck.

Her kiss was answer enough.


End file.
